Too Late...

(RP)

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_______________________
(side)

It's too late... I just know it...
I truly screwed up...

Blake was my soulmate- my perfect match and I screwed up...

I have destroyed the one beautiful thing I had in my life. My heart... is shredded and I have no one to blame but myself. He has been staying with this other woman while in Vegas.. this.. Jewel. I guess she is going to Egypt and he was invited to go. He invited me and I want to go... but at the same time I don't. I don't want to see him with another woman...

But I deserve the killing pain seeing that would cause.

I fear if I don't go, I will lose any chance of getting him to come back. But f I go, I fear that I will see things that will hurt me even more.

Ra... why couldn't it just be my spirit taken instead of RIJ's? Without Blake... I don't even feel alive...

I was a fool. A stupid, blind, ignorant fool who was being too selfish. Selfishness is not in my character. Neither is being unfaithful...

Maybe RIJ was right.. maybe I am not the person I used to be.. but if I'm not, then who am I? What am I meant to do? Where do I belong? ...

this life no longer calls to me, so why am I still here? That letter opener felt so ... good... when I used it the last time... It gave me a release and sense of freedom from the pain and ache... I have hidden a dagger... it calls to me... as does a razor in my bathroom. they taunt me... They cry for me to end it. They hurt me more in an effort to make sure I follow through- I'm struggling against it, but it's hard...

This isn't me...

I never give in like this... I'm not a quitter...

But this hurts... it hurts so much...

I was too late ...

now is it too late to save me....?

posted by Lady Aurora Phoenix @ 9:55 AM Comments: 0