Secrets...

I still cannot believe the mistake I made... There's no way I can tell Blake. It would just hurt him so much. I just can't let him know. And I can't let it happen again either. I have to remain true to my vows...

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(side)

So many thoughts in my head, I still have to work up the courage to get the divorce started. It's not something i look forward to- part of me screams out against it telling me I shouldn't be doing this. I mean... it isn't like blake has ever given me a reason to leave. He loves me so much. And I admit that I still really do love him. It's hard feeling so torn.

It's probably the one thing Sanura and I can agree with right now. Both in love with people we can no longer have... Trying desperately to hold on to the love we do have.

Gabriel and I have done some talking. He feels Sanura will give him the divorce he is seeking without a problem. I feel that she may hold on until Ori makes a decision... It's not exactly fair to gabriel, but I can see why she does this. And with her newfound religion, she isn't sleeping with Ori or she isn't breaking her wedding vows. There is still so much saddness in her eyes. I would bet money that if Gabriel could and did ask her to come back to him, that she would do so in a heartbeat.

He hesitates when asked about his feelings for her, even tries to change the subject by telling me he loves me... It leaves me wondering if he really does still love her. I wouldn't blame him, but I would wonder just why he gave up something he obviously still cares about... Maybe... Just maybe they can at least remain friends. I know I would like to see that, just as I would like to see Blake and myself remain friends as well.

After some talking, Gabriel suggested nudging Ori into making things more official between him and Sanura. We agree that as long as there is a church and a priest he may actually follow through. Once we are certain that Gabriel and Sanura are divorced we plan to toss Sanura and Ori in a small church to exchange vows of their own. We feel it might be the only way Ori would actually follow through since he has his Christian beliefs which have stopped him from so much. It's obvious he really likes her. We just have to see to it that he finally does something about it. Instead of setting up a blind date...

Gabriel and I are fixing up a surprise wedding for them... I just hope they like it...

Still.. if Gabriel really does still love his wife... planning this really can't be that easy on him...

posted by Lady Aurora Phoenix @ 8:13 AM Comments: 0